endless appreciation for mln that speaks my whole existence ‼️

my liberation notes (2022) quotes / lines <3

— “i’d be living the same mundane life, and no one would ever be interested in me. i felt like if i lived like this for too long, i’d shrivel up and die.”

— “i’m exhausted. i don’t know when it all started to go wrong, but i’m exhausted. every relationship feels like work. every moment that i’m awake feels like work. nothing ever happens. no one ever like me.”

— “i want liberation. i want to be liberated. i don’t know where i’m trapped, but i feel trapped. there’s nothing in my life that relaxes me. i feel cramped and stifled. i want to break free.”

— “it feels like i’m stuck, but i don’t know how to get out. that’s probably why i hope everything ends all at once i’m not unhappy but i’m not happy either i wouldn’t care if the world ended now.”

— “everyone is on their way to their graves, so why is everyone so happy and excited?”

— “sometimes i think that people who are damaged are much more honest than those who live their lives happily.”

— “i don’t know where i’m stuck but i want to break free. i wish i was genuinely happy and be able to say things like, “yes, this is life. this is what life is all about.” i want to be able to say these things.”

— “if i think about it, the people that i thought i liked all have things that make me uncomfortable. things that disappoint me. things that i hate. things that i'm jealous of. they all have things that make me unhappy. i might seem to be getting along with people without any problems. but in truth, there's not a single person i truly like. i'm wondering if that's why i'm being drained without realizing it. if it's why i always feel alone and also as if i've been abandoned."

— “out of the 24 hours in a day, i only feel okay for about a couple. and it's not like i even feel good, i just feel okay. i just try to get through the rest."

— “what are they so happy about? why am i not happy like them? why do i have to waste such a long amount of time? i'd be perfectly okay if i only got to live 8 years instead of 80. i don't do anything but i'm already exhausted. still, i drag myself along, like driven cattle. "let's keep going. i don't know why i have to live, but let's have a decent life while i'm alive." that's how i barely manage to drag myself everyday."

— “sometimes, i have this thought. when you were 3, 7, and 19 years old... i wish i could go back in time and sit quietly next to your younger self.”

— “i think people are only sane when they're lonely. so... i think i'm saner at night."

— “if you think about it another way, it's because everyone is pretending that life on earth flows so smoothly."